A Patchwork Fantasy Tale in eight parts.
Our seventh visit to Hotel Olympus, during which the owners pay a visit.
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Transcript
[Upbeat, inquisitive music]
Laura: Hi, you can call me Laura. I’m here to tell you a story if you like. This is Patchwork Fairy Tales and today we’re visiting Hotel Olympus. If you want to read as well as listen, check out the transcript linked in the description.
[Music fades]
Hotel Olympus Chapter 7
Weeks upon weeks became months upon months and Charlie began to find – beyond al expectation – that she had almost gotten used to catering to gods and working alongside people whose names she could barely pronounce and whose understanding of the world seemed at least three steps to the left of her own. She should have known really. A job was a job, a hotel was a hotel, and she thrived in hotels. Even a hotel as improbable as Hotel Olympus.
That Monday had a cheerful sort of routine to it. From greeting Argus and Phaëton out front, to catching up with Cassandra at the front desk and quickly checking in on Echo before hunting down her manager.
“Morning, chief,” she said with a nod.
“Good morning, Charlie,” he rumbled. “Anything require my attention?” Mister P. was always anxious to know the minutest details about the running of the hotel, but luckily he did not feel the need to micromanage once he knew.
“Just a question, if you don’t mind,” Charlie said briskly. “About the standing reservation for the 20st of March—”
“Yes?” he replied, just a beat too slow.
“It says they are bringing a pet.”
“Yes.”
“That’s against hotel policy,” she reminded him. “It clearly says no pets.” Her eyes narrow. “They already show up with their own personal zoos! Poor Marsyas is run off his feet at the stables. I’m not having that inside our hotel!”
The startled look the manager gave her was quite hard to read, but just to be sure she folded her hands on her back for a moment and corrected. “Your hotel, chief.”
“No, no, quite right, our hotel,” he muttered. “But, really Charlie, it’s only a dog.”
Charlie paused. “A dog?”
“Yes, just one— eh, one dog.” He took in Charlie’s frown with a rather pleading expression. “Her Majesty really does not like travelling without him.”
Her Majesty? She has never heard him use a title like that for any of their other guests. “Well, I suppose a dog won’t be too much trouble. I presume they’ve brought it here before, then?”
“Oh yes, every year. Th-he’s very well behaved.”
“Alright,” she sighed. But she privately thought she’d probably come to regret this come March the 20th.
When she arrived on March the 20th the whole hotel seemed to be on edge. Echo’s whispers seemed to fill every hallway, the manager stomped around nervously and the kitchens were eerily quiet.
She was just about ready to resort to pressing Cassandra for an explanation, when the lobby doors swung open and a stately woman in a gown so dark green it was almost black made her way directly to the front desk. Cassandra immediately stood to attention, but Charlie was closer and by the time the new guest reached them they both chimed in almost perfect unison:
“Welcome back to Hotel Olympus.”
“Ah!” the guest said brightly, looking at Charlie. “You must be the new manager I have heard so much about.”
“Yes, Your Majesty, this is Charlie,” Cassandra confirmed.
So this was Her Majesty. Well, she certainly did look the part.
“Hello Charlie,” she smiled. “How good to finally meet you.” And something in the way she held herself as she said that made Charlie’s stomach jolt.
Obviously most of the deities that stayed here acted like guests of honour to a private party, but this woman. This woman – well, goddess – didn’t act like a guest at all. Oh no, she had owner energy.
Charlie stood perfectly straight and almost held her breath. Surely people would have told her if the owner of the hotel was coming to stay?
The smiling divinity cheerfully continued, seemingly unaware of the effect of her presence. “Are you pleased with your employment here? I hope you do not run into any obstacles? As the only one yet living here.”
Her nerves ought not to affect her ears. Did she hear that right? Yet …. living?
At that moment the hotel doors opened once again and a tall, broad-shouldered figure clad in all black slowly strode inside with a dog at his heels. A large, hulking, three-headed dog.
Charlie felt her cheeks burn. She had been so preoccupied with the dog she had forgotten to worry about its owners. She dropped her gaze, eyes drifting to the cheat sheet tucked out of view of the guests behind the counter. Way at the bottom it said:
- Hades + Persephone, God and Goddess of the Underworld (Death?)
She looked back up. “No, ma’am, she whispered, I am very happy here.”
“Wonderful,” Persephone smiled. “That is what I like to hear.”
She began to idly stroll through the lobby and Charlie felt compelled to follow. “I’m quite proud of this place, you know? So much more…constructive than what we used to do.”
“Ah?” Charlie desperately sought for the right thing to say. What on earth would the Lord and Lady of the Dead need a hotel for? “What is the constructive part, exactly?”
“Rehabilitation!” Persephone said brightly. “It’s all the rage these days among you mortals, isn’t it? I’m a big fan.” She cast another loving eye around the lobby. “I think we managed to find everyone in need of further reform a very fitting position. And for the volunteers, like dear Cassandra, it’s a nice reprieve. A helpful change of scenery. Wonderful how that all worked out.”
She looked at Charlie again, who felt more overwhelmed under her gaze than she had in the face of any other god.
“Why look at Damastes! In a way we owe the inspiration for this whole place to him.”
“Damastes?” Charlie repeated, in deep discomfort and deep confusion. She had never heard that name before.
“Oh, perhaps you know him as Procrustes?” She nodded cheerfully towards the manager, who was greeting both her husband and their dog with anxious deference. “After all those centuries in Tartarus, who could have thought that having him run a hotel again would finally bear fruit. And it so neatly solved the issue of us all needing to come down here with no temples to house us, too.” She chuckled. “We might have called it Hotel Hades, but no doubt the others would have taken offence to staying here then.”
Charlie swayed gently on her feet. She was trying to remember, with increasing desperation, if she had ever seen any of her co-workers leave the hotel before her. She couldn’t. And no matter how punctual she was, she was always the last to arrive. Or so she had thought… She glanced back towards the desk. Cassandra met her eye with an embarrassed smile.
She was still struggling for composure when Hades himself, tall and grave and silent, came to stand at Persephone’s side. She fondly took his arm. “Is our suite ready?”
And Charlie, with a relief that came from the very depth of her soul, gratefully fell back on her usual script. “Certainly, ma’am,” she smiled. “The bridal suite, decorated in spring colours, and a bowl of ripe pomegranates on the night stand.”
A job was a job and a hotel was a hotel, and you could get used to anything.
“If you’ll step this way, I will personally escort you to your suite and see to it that everything is exactly to your liking.”
[Upbeat, inquisitive music returns]
Laura: Thank you very much for listening, I hope you liked this installment of Hotel Olympus. This entire story happened because I wanted to make a Damastes Procrustes rehabilitation/community service joke and here we finally are. Transcripts, easy streaming, and all the information about this podcast and all my other creations can be found on laurasimons.com.
There’s another tale to tell some other day, but until then: remember to mind your mythology, guard your name, and be safe.
[Music fades]
Copyright Laura Simons, please do not copy my stories without my permission, lest you insult the fae.